Im beyond hurt

I can't seem to understand why my body plays with my mind. I've been trying for 5 years to conceive & nothing. I'm afraid my boyfriend will leave me. He says he won't, but every time I fail at conceiving, I feel less  of a woman. My heart is completely broken right now. I'm 13 days late, had every symptom of early pregnancy, even got a faint positive. Then, af comes. The crazy part is, I wasn't even trying this cycle, I decided to break for a while. But.... it's like the possibility of being pregnant is being dangled in my face... Life certainly has it's way of hurting your soul to the core, and I've had it. Im so hurt & I can't stop my tears from falling. Why me?