I'm so embarrassed.
An old coworker brought in her one month old baby. Everyone was lining up to hold her and I didn't because I just felt so sad. Everyone kept asking me why. "Why won't you hold her?? You don't like babies?? How could you say no to this face?!" And I just broke down crying in front of everyone. It just got to be too much and I couldn't take it anymore and now I'm so embarrassed. I feel so bad. Of course I wanted to hold her. But I'm feeling so much pain.
It's been three years. Will this feeling ever go away? Will I ever get used to the disappointment of another negative test after another? I don't feel strong enough for this.