can someone just help me without judging me

I feel like I am losing my head. I have felt this way for months but I don't know who to talk to. Let me rephrase that, I don't have anyone to talk to. I think I'm in love with another man. I constantly have dreams and I'm constantly thinking about him. I've tried to forget him but I can't, he's everywhere. The sad part is, I'm married and even if I weren't I don't think he'd ever be interested in me but at the same time when we are close by, I feel something which it may just be me but I feel it. My husband and I have been through a rough patch. What I mean is, we've suffered from 2 miscarriages and from that point on I've never looked at him the same. I thought I was over it and I thought I could forget but I can't. I'm not going to go into too much detail but I'm hurting and I just want someone to tell me his is normal and that my emotions aren't real 😭😭. I can't help but imagine my life if I never got married and settled.