I don't know anymore

I'm emotionally exhausted and want to give up and get back my paragaurd. But after an emotional conversation with the husband idk what to do. He cried begging me not to give up. He want it as bad as I do. I don't want to give up. I just want to give my body and emotions a rest. Time to heal for 6 months/ a year before We try again. We both lost daughters from previous relationships mine was a miscarriage and his was from a bitch who hated him so much she got an abortion and tried having kids with another man. The girls should be 4 and 5. I'm having mixed emotions I want this so bad. Now! But I'm emotionally exhausted. So paragaurd is my best choice ATM. No hormones. I need to get my life back together and heal. I feel bad for taking a break. But I have to