Gained a Rainbow Baby...and Still Pregnant

 I am now 17+3 weeks and can't wait until my belly gets a little bigger so that I can feel like I'm out of this size limbo. My belly has been the same size since I lost Baby B at 10 weeks. It's been a very emotional pregnancy. I just want this baby to be healthy. They were identical so at least I will never have to wonder what my other baby would have looked like... I knew the second I was pregnant it was twins-and I was blind sighted when they said baby B passed away. Something in my heart told me there was two and there was...My heart hasn't been totally full again. Every cramp, ache, pain scares me. I still am very sick with HG and have been very anxious this pregnancy. As excited as I am at every milestone once all the laughs and smiles are gone I weep. I love my baby with all my heart and so does my husband. I am still in the grieving process I guess and it's been almost impossible to get past it because I'm still pregnant.