pregnant but previous missed miscarriage

Ok so, back in 2009 I had a miscarriage.
I then went on to have two babies after that, one in 2010 and the other in 2014.
I had a chemical back last year and then got pregnant soon after and went for my 12 week scan in februaary and found out baby had died 3 weeks prior to that.
Needless to say it was absolutely soul destroying, I went in expecting to see my baby for the first time and come home and announce the pregnancy instead I phoned my partner to tel him to come to the hospital because our baby had died.
Fast forward to now, I am 4 weeks pregnant and every single day that goes by I am petrified. Petrified it's going to happen again and I'm not going to find out until my 12 week scan again. 
I can't cope with the constant worry, I've got 8 weeks of this worry and even then after a scan I'm still going to worry.
I don't want to book an early scan for this reason, if I booked one last time at say 8/9 weeks the baby would have been fine and then would have had a bigger shock at the 12 weeks when I would have found out baby died. 
I'm just not sure how to stop the worry.
I don't even know what I am asking you guys for, maybe if it's happened to you and how you got through the long wait u til 12 weeks? 
Any answers would be really appreciated ❤️, thank you 🙏🏽 xxx