I had my first doctors appointment last week. I was 7 weeks along. The doctor did an ultrasound, and was unable to see the baby. He brushed it off, and said I must not be as far along as I thought, and sent me home. I started spotting that night. It was a pinkish/brown. I wasn't concerned, because I had implantation bleeding with my first pregnancy. The spotting carried on through the next day. I called my nurse and she said if I started to feel pain, or see red, to go to the ER. If not, to go get lab work done in the morning, and they would see me at 1pm. I woke up at 1:30am and was bleeding dark red... I called my parents (my car broke down) and they came and took me to the ER. While there, the ER doctor checked my cervix, and said it was closed, so I had nothing to worry about, and he just put me on bed rest for a few days. I told him I had lab work i needed to get done, and he said he would get a lab tech in to take my blood. The next day, I started passing clots and was in a lot of pain. So I called my nurse again, and she said to go get another HCG test done to compare results to the test they ran in the ER, and come in right after. I got there, and my doctor did another ultrasound, and said the sac had gotten bigger, but he still couldn't see the baby. He was determined that there was nothing wrong and ordered more lab work to see if maybe my blood wasn't coagulating the way it should. So the next day I went back to the hospital for more blood tests. While there, the receptionist said they had another order sent in, I was to come back Monday for another HCG test. So I called my nurse on my lunch on Monday to confirm, and she said that when I went to the ER, they didn't run the HCG test, but ran a bunch of other, non-essential tests instead. So I went back, for the 4th time in 5 days, to get more blood drawn, so they can figure out if my levels are up or down.

I started passing clots Friday, and have barely been able to walk because of the pain, and my doctor knew this. I still have no answers whether my baby is alive or not. I am so emotionally drained, and tired of being poked, and tired of the hospital visits. I have over 200 worth of ER visits, and lab work I need to pay for, on top of missing work. I am going to my doctors office when they open at 8am, and I am not leaving until I get answers. I'm not worried about the money I am out, but the emotional toll this has taken on me and my Fíance is too much...

(This is the same doctor who told me my baby would be full term, no doubt in his mind, 2 days before I went into labor 4 weeks early.)

I just want to know if I lost my baby so we can grieve and move on...