vent.

Ashley
My boyfriend and I are both 23 and have been together for 4 years. We've lived together for a while now and while I wouldn't say we are TTC we aren't exactly being careful either. So a few times, we've had pregnancy scares.. I freak myself out at first and then get warm to the idea only to go buy a test and get my period the same day (this has happened at least three times 🙄) I can't help but feel like an idiot every time this happens. It's like I get my hopes up and then feel disappointment and worry. Like what if something is wrong up there? It's crazy because some days I'll feel nauseous, boob sensitivity and I'll think for sure I'm pregnant then the next day I'll have period like cramps all day. My mind is playing tricks on me.
We're currently back in this predicament. My period is 9 days late as per this app, which is usually pretty accurate. I'm struggling with getting myself a test because part of me thinks this time is going to end up like the rest, but the other part is worried/excited? that this may be IT. Although, having a baby at this moment isn't ideal, and I don't think I am 100% ready, are you ever 100% ready? Babies are blessings and I'm sure mine would be well loved and provided for... I just... idk. Just needed to vent as my friends are probably tired of my daily paranoia 😩 please share if you've felt this way! 
UPDATE: well there we have it folks 😂 I'm going to be a mommy 💕