I love my son so much, but he's driving me crazy. He's almost 10 months old and we bed share (because he absolutely refuses to sleep without being held) and all night long, he's hitting, kicking, flopping and whining. During the day, he wants to be on me every single second. It's hard for me to shower or eat, forget about keeping the house very clean. He throws screaming fits ALL THE TIME when he's not being held. I love my baby, but I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if he doesn't either get out of my bed or get off me during the day. I don't get any sleep and then he wants me to carry him around all day and screams and pinches and kicks.

I can't take it anymore. I'm a SAHM so I literally do all the work when it comes to our son (my husband is up at 5 and usually not home until 6-7 and I'm not going to ask him to get up all night and even when he does try to help, our son wants nothing to do with him when he's tired) and I'm so worn down. I feel like I'm becoming resentful of him and I know that its not his fault, he's just being a baby. I've tried everything to get him to sleep alone or even nap by himself and it always ends up with him screaming himself hoarse because he wants to be held and me giving up because he gets so overly tired that I can't take it anymore. The second I so much as flex my arm to try and move him away from me, he flips out. He could be dead asleep and the second I lean forward to set him down he starts crying. I find myself wanting to lose my temper and having to put him down and go into another room. Last night I just laid in bed and sobbed while he screamed and kicked me in his sleep.

I'm so tired. I'm just so tired. It makes me feel like I shouldn't have been a parent, I can't handle the lack of sleep and personal space anymore. I just want to eat my food while its still warm and use the bathroom by myself and sleep for more than an hour at a time. I feel like a terrible mother but I just want my son to leave me alone for ten minutes. I thought by almost 1 I'd be getting more sleep and be able to spend at least some time by myself or with my husband in the evenings and its just impossible. I thought he would be sleeping in his room by now or at least lying down in our bed alone. People tell me to let him cry it out and even though I hate it, I've tried that too and it didn't work. He never gave up and went to sleep, it just got worse every day.

I'm sorry, I'm really just ranting. I don't have any friends anymore (I guess babies cramp their style) and I don't have anyone to talk to. I'm really starting to hate myself for feeling this way. My son deserves better than what I'm giving him right now and I just don't know what to do anymore.