My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have been close for over 15 years.

We are both 21 years old.

We dated each other off and on for a few years, many years ago until for about 7 years.

We dated other people.

3 years ago we decided to be together and get engaged.

I am absolutely in love and head over heals for him! & I know he is with me too! There is no doubt.

For the last 2 years, I have had VERY LITTLE trust with him. The man I plan on marrying. Spending the rest of my life with.

He has lied to me many times about things I know the truth on.

He has hidden things from me because he knows I wouldn't be happy with them.

He has gone behind my back to do things, lie to me that he never did it, and then do it some more behind my back.

...

I know my self worth. With anyone else, I would have NOT accepted this behavior. It's child-like, immature. I would have walked away from the first red flag.

But I didnt.

I stayed.

For 2 more years.

He talks a big talk. Telling me we are just going to elope, have kids, be a happy family.

His actions say otherwise.

And I don't know how to eliminate the problem other than walking away.

It breaks my heart to think about it.

I don't know what else to do.

He's been my best friend all these years!

He's my everything.

He would be completely devastated if anything happened to us! It has already happened once.

...

Anytime I talk to him about this issue, he always raises his voice and yells at me for not trusting him and that I should leave him. He doesn't blame me for anything. He just keeps shouting, "Why don't you ever believe me?"

I use his laptop to show him why and all he tells me is that someone hacked his shit.

What am I supposed to say to that????

I'm lost.

There is so much going on, I can't even finish talking about it.

...

So here is my confession: I am a victim of relationship mental abuse. I know my self-worth, but I choose everyday to not walk away from him.