the struggle is real

Jay
Ok lady's I know it's been a while since I posted anything and I know not a lot of you even probably read my things... but I just have to post the struggle I been through in the last couple months... 
I started seeing a OB so I can figure why I haven't gotten pregnant in the last 4 years. 
Told me I need to loose weight (I get it and I want to) 
Got diagnosed with PCOS (multiple cysts on my right ovary. One decent sized on my left and multiple cysts on my cervix)
Doc wanted to do a biopsy of my uterus to test for cancer and other diseases...girls don't let no doctor touch you like that unless you getting numbed up!!! That shit hurts like hell! Was literally cursing and yelling at the doctor to get it out cuz it hurt so bad. But plus side, everything negative!! (Yay!!!) but then diagnosed with some kind of infection -- something metreosis- 
I haven't lost any weight.. my grandfather who was like a father to me passed away.
:,(
And instead of treating me for PCOS doc tell me I have to take three months of stupid birth control which I don't want to take cuz hello I'm trying to GRT pregnant NOT stop myself from it!!! Just uhg!! 
#depressed#struggleisreal