Am I the b*t*h or is she just fake?

Question

So i apologize in advance for the long post. I could really use some unbiased advice in this circumstance. Here's the situation.

My husband and i are friends with another couple who last year were our best man and a bridesmaid in our wedding. Since our wedding: my husband lost his job, we had a miscarriage, his nana (very close to) died, and he lost another job. I've developed depression from the miscarriage and did not get much work wither this year. It's not been easy and we understand we weren't great friends through all that. 
They: had a miscarriage two days after ours, started new jobs, bought a house and are now having a healthy pregnancy. 
They have not been great friends back. But as a friend, you can normally get through all that shit and  realize that your friends go through stuff differently.

So anyways the friendship has been slipping since i'd say the miscarriage time? No texts, emails, calls between is for a while. And if i did reach out they weren't responded to.  I finally had enough after not getting a response again. Here's what i sent to her and her reply (note my husband sent a message to him, but didn't really want to resume the friendship so it was very different).

I was angry at first, then sad, then understanding, then back to anger. Which i feel is the right emotion.

My biggest reason to be angry is that if ahe felt the friendship was starting to slip before our wedding why didn't she say anything then/still be in it?

And if they still claim that they are friends with us why have they kept themselves so distant?

Please note: them being pregnant had nothing to do with me writing this to them. I've been thinking about it a lot but wanted to wait until some business was done with a mutal friend first (as we couldn't loose the job for ANY reason and needed the money, not the best reason obviously but a necessary one unfortunately).

Accepted Answer

I feel you was in the wrong. There was no need for your message. You don't have to be the best of friends with everyone. It's natural as adults to fade out as friends. They have a life too. They can't always be focused on you and your friendship. You shouldn't of sent that message at all. If you was honestly concerned for your friendship you meet up and nicely together try to figure out if things are okay between both parties. Or you just let it go period. You was super rude. I wouldn't want to be your friend.  Be a good friend and be happy for her pregnancy.

Answer

This right here is due to poor lack of communication on both sides. But the thing is, both of y'all went through the same thing at the same time so neither of you could've been prepared to be there the way you both needed you to be because of the situation, and for her to expect that or you to expect that from her wasn't fair. Maybe you guys need some distance. Give her a few weeks to cool off, then send a nice message like "Hey I know a few weeks ago the way I acted wasn't appropriate but I was just thinking about you and I hope you're doing okay". Little things like that can help rekindle a friendship. Whether you like it or not, being the bigger person sometimes is just what you have to do when it comes to things like this. It sucks, and it hurts but that's the cold hard reality. I don't know how long y'all have been friends, but this isn't something for you to throw your relationship away over. You BOTH need to start being a good friend, you BOTH need to be more understanding, and you BOTH need to be there for one another if you truly are the other persons friend. If she wants to throw it all away, then let her. Maybe she will come back when she's ready to and make amends. Don't be pushy or selfish.

Answer

I sort of get the feeling that there is some resentment on her part about you and your family needing space during your tough time. Maybe she felt like you were creating a wedge between you? And I guess that does make it OK for them to do the same when they are going through a hard time. She also states that she is upset because of how you treated her over having to cancel with you because her friend was having a baby. You also deleted her off of Facebook, which is not something that real friends commonly do to one another. In my opinion, your text message comes off as pretty harsh, insulting her by calling her petty and then strangely saying multiple times that you hope you're still friends. In the end, I think the two of you should just back off from one another. This is not a real friendship. And it's not because you're a bitch or she's fake, it just is what it is. No point in placing blame.

Answer

I think your message was unnecessary. Friends grow apart. It's normal. People get ticked at each other, but the way to deal with it is not an out of the blue text message rant. If I were her, is have been pissed too. It sounds like there are two sides of this story and neither of you is communicating well or willing to admit any fault. Yes an ending friendship is painful, but that's life, and it's not always one person's fault. Honestly, if my relationship with someone was rocky and they sent me the message that you sent her, my response would have been, "well fuck you too." Pretty sure this was the death blow to your friendship. If it were me, there would be no salvaging it. Once again, there are definitely two sides to this story and neither of you is willing to try to understand the other person. Your can be angry if you want, but it's no more her fault than it is your own.

Answer

Your text was aggressive. Then you tried to justify deleting her on fb and didn't understand why she was mad. Sounds like you set this up and now they are playing your game with your rules you are mad.

Answer

"I WILL MAKE TIME, FOR YOU WHEN WE HAVE TIME"

That is your answer right there. If someone ever said that to me, I would block, delete and not even bother replying because it is very clear how much you and your husband mean to them at this point. Friendships end and people grow apart. It isnt pleasant and of course it is upsetting but just like they are focusing on them and their own family. You focus on you and husband.

Answer

Oh HELL TO THE NO, first you try to reach out, then the bitch makes it seem like shes the victum here.. Dump her azz and move on, you know what they say is true,, 
you cant even trust your own shadow the bitch disappears at night and leaves u alone, so how can you trust a so called friend! 
screw her focus on your relationship prove her your not stuck, and negative.
In the end your spouse is your best friend confidant, do all you can to better your relationship and life..
Right now it may feel like you guys have gone thru the worst but No, God has made you stronger by showing you life does have its downfalls but its up to you to pull yourself out of the low and understand that youll be in the high, because God will bless you even more.

Good luck and dont ever let anyone put you down that way ever.

Am I the bth or is she just fake?

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