I think I may cheat!!

I'm married 6 months now thinking that things would change. How wrong was I? He still gets angry over nothing, he doesn't pay me any attention, the sex is not great nor often coz he would rather masturbate. He says he loves me yet treats me like sh#t. He never thinks about how I'm feeling and generally makes me feel worthless. I know cheating isn't the way forward and why did I marry this man in the first place, why don't I leave him!! It's complicated, I would hurt a lot of people, but why shouldn't I look after number one?? I need something, I feel like he eyes up every woman that walks by, I know he looks up naked pics of celebs and tv people. He's getting himself off to other women and not satisfying his wife. Choosing that over me!!!! I'm so sexually frustrated and mentally drained by the whole thing. I'm not going to cheat but these thoughts are running through my head I need to get them out. Before y'all judge, I'm ranting and letting off steam. I know that marriage shouldn't be like this and yes I have tried talking to him on several occasions but was told that it's a guy thing and to stop moaning and being selfish!!! Bring on the haters 😕