Symptoms and Secrets
Terrible headaches, sore boobs, occasional  cramping, bloated, sometimes starving, somedays nothing sounds appealing and forgetful already... this is my second pregnancy but yet this feels so surreal. I'm kinda in shock kinda in disbelief.Â
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage in Dec 2010. Even though I definitely wasn't ready then I was devastated. I am very family orientated and my whole entire life from little on has revolved around children. I want kids I want a family. My deepest fear is that this will never become my reality.
 I was on birth control since my miscarriage and I've had some complications with the pill. When my birth control was recalled and then discontinued I cried not knowing what they would have me try next. That month a conceived baby number 2!Â
I feel like I should be more excited than I am. Definitely in a better situation this time around as well. My partner is bursting at the seems to tell everyone. I am six weeks and I lost my first at 10 weeks. I have mixed emotions about letting people know.
 My last pregnancy left me depressed and it took me 5 years to sort through those emotions. I guess I'm afraid of loss again. I think this is holding me back from getting g too excited. Also My family is also very traditional and I'm not married, older this time, but afraid of their rejection too I guess.Â
 It's getting harder to keep this a secret. I am 25 right now and with it being summer my partner and I are use to sitting around the fire having a beer or going out for one with friends. I've told friends that I can't drink because I'm on an antibiotics right now but how long can you use that excuse for? My family and his are noticing some of my symptoms too I think.
I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed with everything. Oh and I'm negative blood type so dr is keeping a close eye on me. Waiting to hear back from him about my levels tomorrow.... Again so overwhelmed.Â
Similar stories, advise, prayers anything to soothe my mind. Thank you in advance.Â
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