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Marriage counselor. You two seem to have the money (not being rude)... so I say if you want it to get better and work you both need to refocus and get help. If he refuses, or after counseling things don't change/get better, unfortunately I'd say it's time to move on. There are other men out there who are comfortable in their manhood (again the money thing) and won't verbally abuse you. You don't deserve that, and if saving yourself isn't enough motivation.... think of your daughter. The verbal hits will start getting thrown at her, what message are you sending her for her future relationships? Would you want her in a relationship like this? If not... why is her happiness and safety more important than yours? It's hard... but it's time to face it.
Marriage is hard
So my husband and I are having a very difficult time. Both jobs are great just bought a new house. Life I think is great. I work a full time job and my husband makes 30.00 a hour and I make more but I'm a independent contractor. He gets mad and says he doesn't feel like a man because I make more money then him. He wakes up mad goes to sleep mad. I bust my ass with my job don't get home until 630 at night and still manage to come home cook clean do school work with my five year old that he is raising because her father isn't involved. Nothing ever seems good enough to make him happy. I'm 28 and he is 30. I know my husband isn't a cheater however, he hardly kisses me,touches me or even have sex with me. Now, I am guilty of the trash talking, but I don't do it in front of my daughter. He calls me every name in the book. He likes to drink on the weekends not during the week, but when he drinks beer he seems to be even more mean. Tells me to get out of his house even though we both own it. I am so confused why he treats me so bad, and I don't know who this man is I have married. We are doing this thing called reengage at our church. That you do a study once a week together then discuss it in class, well we been going for to months and haven't done one lesson together at night before our group discussion. One night things got so bad with us fighting and it was in front of our daughter, which he was drinking I left to get a hotel room for two nights. He called and apologized that he wouldn't talk bad to me anymore and lay off the beer some on the weekends, well it's back to the same shit. I don't know how to feel or what to do. I'm sick of him telling me he wants a divorce every time we get into a fight and to move out of his house. I'm worried he's going to really mean what he says one day divorce me and try to kick me out. I don't know how we got here, but I feel so unloved and depressed especially as a mother my daughter witnessing this. We used to be wonderful been married almost one year and together almost two. I don't believe in divorce and I want it to work but I'm at my breaking point.
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100% counseling. If he wants to give it a shot, you both can do the work to see if you can make the changes you need to make. If he doesn't want to go, find one for yourself & prepare to separate. If your spouse ignores your problems, diminishes your feelings AND will not go to counseling to work on things, then there's really Nothing left to say. Marriage works when BOTH spouses dig in and work hard to fight for the marriage, work through issues, and continue to grow together. You constantly grow as a person, so you have to be able to grow as a couple. Drinking, finances, verbal abuse etc can be addressed, but these things will not go away or get better if they're ignored. Good luck, my dear.
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