Advice needed? Am I a bad person?

Question

This is going to be long winded so I'll shorten it as much as I can also apologise if this is the wrong place. 
Back story: My SO and I have been together two years, he has a child with another woman (3 year old from a 4 year long relationship). We recently discovered that his ex partner is pregnant again in her relationship. 
Me and my partner have been talking about children for months, and are trying. 
Last night we had an argument because he thinks that if his three year old wants to spend time with both half siblings (when/if) then we should allow it. But I'm not comfortable spending time with his ex partner... And we have his child half and half anyway. He also mentioned that if our child wants to spend time with his current child and he is at his mum's we should take our child to his ex partners house so they can spend time together?? 
The question I'm asking is am I a bad person for not wanting to spend time with his ex partners child? I was just wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation.

Answer

Yeah, that's kinda shitty... ultimately, you don't get to dictate who should be allowed to see who.

Answer

You chose to be with a man who has a child from a previous relationship. What do you like ex or not, she dictates The situation with him because that's his kid. It sucks the situation, but this is the person you chose to be with. Either stay out of it and Only see the kids when they come to your place. Or maybe this isn't the guy for you if you don't want to deal with this crap.  Unfortunately she's always going to be a part of your life because of that kid. Either you learn to get along for the sake of the kids. Or you stay out of it or walk away. Maybe the fact that you haven't had a kid with him yet is kind of a blessing so if you do choose to walk away you don't have to be reminded of him or have to deal with him again.

Answer

I had to read this a couple of times to understand. No, you're not a bad person. That would be weird. If their child wishes to see the mom's child, they can see them when they're at the mom's half the time. & they'll see y'all's child when they're at your house. There's no need for YOUR child to see HER child. There's no relationship there. He should only be concerned with HIS children seeing each other. Which will happen at your house.

Answer

You're not a bad person for it but honestly you kinda gotta suck it up. I'm actually the one on the other end. My husband's ex has to deal with seeing my daughter so my step daughter can see her sister (my baby). And while I get ever so much pleasure in knowing how much it hurts this woman having to see me and the baby every week (she is absolutely a god-awful person and I could write a book about how evil she is) I do have quite a bit of respect that she can bring herself to do it because she knows how much her daughter loves her little sister and how she puts our differences aside to make it happen.

Answer

There's a reason you're half and half and it should stay that way. You can't just drop your life and go to her house it doesn't work like that. His child can see the sibling when she's over the ex's house and your baby when you have her. That's how my husband and I have it worked out with his ex wife and it works perfectly. You guys are the parents and should not like the child dictate where and when you see other ppl. That's your choice as the ADULTS. I'm so on your side here!!

Advice needed? Am I a bad person?

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