Just ugh

I dont get off periods i never have before my first it fell on the 22nd of every month. After my first it cam the 1st till the 5th. 2nd pregnancy made it 7 weeks... Period after came on the 1st lasted till the fith 3 pregnancy.... Made it 14 weeks... No heart beat.... Bleed for 42 days... Period till came 1st to the 5th this month 2 faint positives and spot for two day and now heavy bleeding... Lossing hope faster then ever... On the 14th it will 4 months sense i lost my son... Just a broken sprit looking for a place to put my feelings... Im not really looking for feed back... I always get mean ppl commenting on my post in here. And someone that suffers form years of PTDS manic depression and a mental fracture after my daughters father abandoned me in the middle of the night when i was 2 months pregnant... The last thing i need is more angry ppl attacking me.. Sorry for my rant. I seriously have no friends or family i can vent to...