I knew marrying someone in the military there would be times I'd be without him. I've been without him before. I'm an independent person with my own career and my own life, so I usually cope fairly well while he's gone. This time is just hitting in ways I never could have imagined. We got pregnant while on birth control and found out about a week and half before he was leaving for Korea for a year. This was so far from our 'plan'. The plan we always talk about. I love planning. I love knowing how my future will turn out.

I know so many couples struggle to get pregnant and I should be forever grateful for this blessing... but I can't help but feel down. He won't be able to feel able to feel the baby kick, help me put the nursery together, take cheesy maternity pictures, hold my hand in doctors appointments.

I Just needed to write about is somewhere. I refuse to complain to my friends and family about this. I chose this life. I love my husband and I love our child, I'm just finding it very difficult to focus on the positive and make this a really exciting, happy experience. -hormonal pregnant momma