Should I fight for us?
It's taken me awhile to ask for advice, but as I always return to the same old thoughts, it's time.
I've been with a guy for about 7 months now. We've been official and unofficial due to stress and mishandling of our differences but we've talked almost nonstop for those 7 months, even after "break ups" and the goal has constantly been to get back together. We want to wait till this fall back in school to see if it'll work.
I really like him and somehow feel connected to him. He's the one person I have what I would normally consider "important" differences with (like religion), yet I don't mind; I don't think of it. We get along, we used to talk through fights perfectly, yet around the time I started birth control we also started falling apart. We both blamed the birth control for my emotionality and him for his lack of support but after I stopped it for months, we'd still have similar fights. It's not the birth control.
A lot of our fights are my fault. I think about the past or overthink small details and it drives me crazy until an argument happens. But then again when these arguments happen, he says "I don't need this rn." I think he does this because I bring up negative things so often.. as I said, he used to listen when I had a concern the first 2 months. On his part, he goes places and doesn't reply to texts for hours and doesn't think to say "hey I won't be able to text." This seems trivial but he does inconsiderate things like these a lot. One time he said he was gonna go get food and then he'd be back to spend the night but ended up telling me (after I kept pushing for an estimate of a time he'd be back because I also have things to do): "just do what you gotta do, my friend and I have to get ready for our trip tomorrow so idk when I'll be back."
Things like that hurt. And I can get pretty mean too and I'm sure I've hurt him. My friends have mostly described him as immature and as acting as if he's not in a relationship.
I love him very much and he loves me back but I'm not sure he takes it seriously. Sometimes I do feel like he's a kid (he's 19, I'm 18), but mostly we have good talks and do fun stuff together. When he doesn't make time for me though, that really gets me. I also take things too seriously, so idk. Any advice? Does this sound like a bad relationship? I've tried to end it numerous times bc I felt like I was bad for him after arguments when I realized idek what I was fighting about. He keeps saying he also wants to try for us but many times he's also like "let's just be friends" or "leave if you're not happy" but in the end he claims that he says these things because he feels like he doesn't make me happy.
We've been better the past month, btw, this is past stuff mostly, but it could definitely come up again when we're back together in the fall. (Haven't seen each other in 3 months almost).