Taking a "break"
So recently I made a mistake and told a coworker he was my back up plan (I know dick move) I never in a million years would ever want to end things with my boyfriend. But he saw the messages and we almost broke up. Well a few days later he said ever since that day he just hasn't felt the same and I could tell he really didn't by the way he acted. So he said we needed to take a break. Just give him some time to think about things and make sure both of us are 100% into the relationship. Well I was at work when he told me this through txt and I immediately started crying and I work at a subway so I kept trying to get myself together but everytime it would run through my mind I would day again even if I was having a normal conversation with a customer. Well I asked my bf what exactly he meant by take a break and he's like we just need time and I'm like okay does that mean we're not gonna talk or txt or see each other for weeks and he's like no I still wanna talk and hang out and we're gonna be okay in like a week we'll the next week I have a church camp I always go to do I didn't see him at all that week and I barely txted him and I would always tell him how sorry I was and how I would do anything to take it back and to get things fixed between us and he just told me to stop pushing things. He swears up and down we're gonna get back together but he's told everyone we broke up. If we're getting back together why did he tell everyone that? Anyway he toyed with my emotions constantly and he told his friends that are girls that we only had sex 5x and that I've only made him finish once. I've made him finish twice but he doesn't remember the second time but the friends he told this to he slept with one of them while we was talking last year. I lost my virginity to this boy and I'm so insecure of my body and he knows I feel like complete garbage when he doesn't finish and it really hurt my feelings and he knows that. But today we was hanging out and I changed my clothes in the car because I had just got off work and he had gotten a boner and tried to have sex with me. I was gonna do it too. Even tho we're technically not even together. I didn't want to because of what he said. I can't please him anyway so there's no point. But if he's trying to sleep with me still and we still love each other why the heck are we broken up and what exactly has changed?? Absolutely nothing. I'm just so confused about it all and everytime I try to have a conversation about it with him my mind goes blank and I don't know what I'm trying to tell him. Please help.