Bulimic and Pregnant

I'm posting anonymously because I already feel like complete crap about this stupid disorder and I don't want people being hateful. I've suffered from an eating disorder since I was around 19. It's been about a year and a half and I'm still suffering. I got help before and it didn't really work, I went to therapy and nothing came of it. Before I was pregnant I was trying to get better, and I thought once I did get pregnant I'd never do it again. But here I am, 14 weeks pregnant struggling. I'm too embarrassed to get help or to tell anyone. It's so bad and embarrassing I don't know what to do. I absolutely hate myself for this. I hate everything about myself for doing this. I love my baby so so much, and I wouldn't ever want to do anything to hurt her....I know that being bulimic isn't AS BAD as other addictions but it's still BAD. I don't know what to do. Somebody please, help. I don't know what to do. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself.