I don't even feel bad , my abusive relationship is over.

Hey ladies so only a few people know this because I've been hiding the fact but 1 yr ago I met a guy, he instantly feel for me, he forced me into a relationship and I told him countless time that I didn't want 1, out of being lonely I just stop fighting it and said of someone wants to be with me I'll be with them... As the months go by he cheated on me and had the girl harassing me on Facebook saying she was just jealous about our new relationship, I believed him but it all ended up being false she sent videos and screenshots of them kissing and talking about loving each other sex, in the mist of all this he became coontrolling blocking males on my social media said I couldn't like or comment on there stuff it didn't matter if I knew them forever of they wasn't family I could associate myself with them of a person liked my picture he assumed I was dealing with them, he controlled the way I dress if I didn't listen I was all types of sluts bitches, nobody doesn't want me and ect, it was to the point I stop getting my hair done and buying new clothes because if I looked good he assumed it was for somebody else, he stop me from going out with my friends, and I constantly was accused of cheating , my bestfriend fiance died in her face and he was so mad I stayed at her house for a week to comfort her, he went through all my clothes saying I'm a thot bitch why I take those jeans to show my body off, I'm just thirsty. It was to the point he wouldn't let me wear a bathing suit to the beach I was fully covered getting in ocean water... We are both 22 yrs old, I was accusw of sleeping with my 2 yrs old dad which wasn't true, I would never cheat he made me cut of all ties with my child father who I loved although we had been through alot we still remained friends after our child, my child father's get shot and locked up he wouldn't let me go see him or answer the phone for him to mke sure he was OK... It killed me, so we broke up well I was done I had enough of being put down as a person, HW makes me feel so low as a person I don't even feel pretty anymore, the only way of making hin happy was staying in our room all day doing nothing if I went ri the store, park, or mailbox he was by my side constantly making me feel like I needed him, he mad me question my own sanity telling me things didn't happen I was crazy to the point I honestly felt like I couldn't trust myself, I couldn't remember what I did or said it drove me crazy, if I didn't answer on the first ring I was getting bombarded with text messages saying what im doing cussing me out. I had a enough I left him for 2 weeks went to my bff house who fiance had died, the guy he always accuse me of cheating with which I never did, took me out on a date and it was the first time in a year I felt wanted, and beautiful, I spent the night at his house but we didn't do anything he just kissed and held me. It was perfect. Mind you me and this guy had not talked since me and him were together we was just really good friends when I was single. After the date we talked for a week until it was time to go home and that was that. So amung all this happening my crazy physco boyfriend keeps trying to get me pregnant I know it's a bad idea because I know once I was carrying his child it would get worse with the controlling behavior... I talked to him about how I felt about another child I wasn't ready after all my 1st child is 2 yrs old, he not listening to me saying he still going get me pregnant8so I tried discussing birth control with him and condoms he didn't like that at all , everytime I mad a appointment to get some he blocked me from going, I eventually stop having sex with him because I was determine to not get pregnant, he started having sex with me while I was sleep, I expressed to him that I didn't like that being as though I was sexually abuse, he didn't listen, well I'm finally pregnant now, 7 weeks 3 days to be exact, my intial reaction I was sad and so scared, I was having a baby by a munipaltive man who made everybody think I was crazy, he stop letting me go over my Moms house because he couldn't pay attention to what I wsd doing. Well last night he found out about my date, I told the truth and he is livid saying fuck me and the baby fuck the shower, he want a blood test and I'm like I didn't do anything with him if I was pregnant by him I would be futher along than I am but nope he doesn't believe me apart of me is so happy that he is done with me but the other part of me is like damn, I'm gonna raise 2 kids alone. Not to mention a kid I didn't really want I'm happy about the baby now But I'm even more happy to get out of that situation I prayed to god for this day. Idk why I'm sad because he definitely wasn't good for me, he's been emotiona and physically abusive and I don't need that in my life. I called the guy I went on the date with and he just laughed and said he was crazy and asked if I was OK and ect but I had to get this off my chest I've been pretending things have been perfect for so long when it hasn't idek who I am anymore and I have to deal with the truama and building myself back up as a women andnd mother. I knew better but yet I stay out of guilt because he made me feel bad and like I needed him...