The struggle to get pregnant

Sabrina

I am 36 and on my fourth month of ttc after almost 3 years with an iud-got my first "non iud period" shortly after having it taken out.

My husband has one ball, I'm not sure if that is causing us not to conceive. I monitor my bbt, do ovulation kits and take prenatal vitamins. My OB won't let is do fertility testing until September.

I get hope and then when AF comes, I get way depressed, panic attacks etc and lose hope for ever becoming a mom. Anyone have tips on how to handle the visit from AF when she is not wanted? It is becoming harder than anything I've ever experienced before.

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COMMENT (32)

Je

Posted at
Unfortunately stress can really affect TTC. Try doing things to alleviate your stress and prevent panic attacks - take a walk or hike, do yoga, meditation- whatever works for you. I find I have to keep myself busy and try to de-stress or I'm a hot mess every time my period comes. Also been trying to do my "pre-baby bucket list" to make the most of this time before pregnancy and having a baby take over my life. The TWW is harder for me than when AF arrives- it's the not knowing that really stresses me out!

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 20, 2017
You are both so right. I'm going to try and schedule some activities that won't be able to be done if I ever get pregnant. That way I have something positive to associate w that time of the month.

Am

Amber • Jul 19, 2017
I agree. I'd rather know for sure than wait and hope and be unsure.

Mo

Posted at
I don't have many tips but I can empathize with you. we are in cycle 4 of ttc and are doing all the things we can. I was so devastated that she showed today - and early too! Just know that you are not in this alone. Wishing you sticky beans and lots of baby dust this cycle!

Mo

Morgan • Jul 20, 2017
Do you get headaches after you ovulate?

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 20, 2017
I also got diagnosed w PMDD so I'm more of a raving witch before. It totally messes with my rational.

Mo

Morgan • Jul 17, 2017
Exactly! I get angry over every little thing. I know I'm being irrational but I can't seem to help it.

Jo

Posted at
I used to get super down and depressed when AF would rear her ugly head. The thing I found to work for me was planning other things. I would plan one or two things every month that I wanted to do that I wouldn't do (wine tasting, charcuterie dinner/BBQ & beers with friends, tattoo session) or things that would be harder once I get pregnant (camping, hiking, vacations). Then, if AF showed up, I still have that other fun thing to look forward to!It's hard at first but really making an effort to NOT put my life on hold because I 'might' be pregnant was an amazing thing. You can always cancel that trip to Mexico if you have to, but if there's no BFP, then it's fun in the sun and margaritas to console me. 😉

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 20, 2017
You are completely right! When I feel negative etc, it's helpful to "talk" with others going through the exact same thing. It's so helpful

Jo

Jocelyn • Jul 18, 2017
Thanks! Best of luck lady! 😊 Oh and the other thing that helps is reading stuff on here that makes me realize that there's so many other women feeling the same way. It's reassuring to know you're not alone. ❤️❤️

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 17, 2017
Great wisdom! I love that idea. I'm going to try that for the next round. You are a genius. 😁

Je

Posted at
Having one testicle does not ordinarily make any difference in TTC if it's any consolation. My DH has only one and has an 8 year old son. We are TTC now And I asked lots of questions about this when having my IUD removed. Hang in there mama!!!

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 20, 2017
I appreciate your honesty. It's helpful regarding the one testicle. Thank you! Baby dust to you. 😁

Lo

Posted at
Hi. No advice but I did want to reach out and say I understand. We do have children already but we had them when we were a lot younger. Between 18-24. We're 33 now and have decided to have more. I came off of bc at the end of April and so far, no bfp. The first month we were NTNP and last cycle we started actively TTC with here and there sex. This cycle, I've decided that we were going to try and have sex if not every day, every other day. So far it's been just about every day. I start testing on Saturday so I'm hoping our frequent baby dancing did the job this month and we get our bfp. Idk how you guys are doing it, but I'd suggest as much sex as you both can stand. Not saying it has to be every day but I'd suggest at least every other day and at a minimum, every to days. What I've figured is that, if you're having consistent sex, then whenever that egg drops, there will be sperm there waiting for it or on its way. Good luck and baby dust to you!

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 17, 2017
You have a great outlook. I wish I could have that outlook. The lack of hope is clouding my perspective.

Lo

Lockwood 💆🏽 • Jul 17, 2017
I agree. You both take rest days if necessary but in our case he has been in the mood and so have I. It just so happens that we're also trying to make a baby. Lol. So doing it every day for us is not tiresome. Lol. I just keep pushing forward. Reminding myself that no matter when we get that bfp that it will definitely be welcome and wanted.

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 17, 2017
How do you stay hopeful?

Xy

Posted at
She shouldn't be making you wait, due to your age and his condition. I have one ovary, and waited 7 months at age 35 before pursuing testing, I wish I hadn't waited. It's currently been 13 months ttc for me, 4 with the fertility clinic. Maybe your husband can get a semen analysis ordered from his doctor to get the ball rolling. That way if he has an issue you can get help right away, and if he doesn't you know it isn't him. Four month TTC is not too long though, but why wait if you suspect something is wrong.

Xy

Xyz • Jul 17, 2017
I don't have a needle phobia, so I don't know about that, but the needles are tiny - like as thick as a small wire. They don't go in far. They hurt only for a few seconds.

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 17, 2017
That's really interesting. Maybe it would be good for me? Perhaps, it will help w my needle phobia especially w possible fertility testing etc. I set up an appointment w my ob in early August.

Xy

Xyz • Jul 17, 2017
Thank you for the compliment. Also, I thought acupuncture wasn't my thing too. I did it out of desperation to help my old lady eggs. I honestly can't believe the difference it has made for anxiety. I've always been so anxious, and wasn't going for that benefit, but I really feel a difference that lasts for about 10-14 days after my accupunture session. I know it seems a bit crazy that having needles in your body would help anxiety, but it really does.

Am

Posted at
I've been TTC for 29 months. I'm 34 & will be 35 in November. We don't want to spend money on fertility clinics or IVF so we did all natural as much as possible. Dec 2016 when we decided to try IUI, fail. Another one in Jan 2017 and failed again. This time I got depressed (most infertile couple do) but I got suicidal thoughts, so we're currently on break.I found a wonderful endocrinologist in May 2017 (not a reproductive endocrinologist) who diagnosed me with PCOS and the solution is exercise, ketogenic diet and he started me on Metformin/Glucophage. He's hoping it will correct my hormonal issues in 3 months. So next month, August 2017 we resume TTC.If we don't conceive by November. We're stopping for good. I don't want to kill myself and I don't want to lose my husband. We're planning to travel every few months, instead.

Sa

Sabrina • Jul 18, 2017
I'm sorry that ttc has been so tough for you. It gets so emotionally tough. I like that you are taking action with your endocrinologist. Is there any support that I can offer you that might be helpful? I have found that people may need support differently.