So, first off, I'm writing this anon because I know several people on this app personally, and need the advice from other people without judgement carrying over into my real life. It's a lot easier to go to strangers sometimes than other people. Also, I'd really appreciate no harsh judgment or rudeness. It's not like I cheated or anything.

I'll give you a little bit of background about my marriage first: I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and have been with my husband for almost six years total, we have a one year old daughter. My husband is on anxiety medication, as of recently. He has been an alcoholic, who would threaten me whenever we fought if he had been drinking (which was pretty much all the time). He would say things like he was going to shove my teeth down my throat. He told me shortly after we got married that he swore he was going to punch me. He drank so much, it got to the point I never knew when he was sober or not. My husband has had a rough life. Sexually abused, verbally abused, bad home life, many, many friends go missing or get killed (he was in the military plus loved motorcycles, so between the two, he lost many friends). My husband is a broken person. I left him about three months ago. I felt that my safety and my daughter's safety was at risk, so I left. After a week, and lots of talking, I went back. And, he has changed. I can see it. I haven't seen him drink whatsoever. He goes to church with me now sometimes, he goes to counseling sometimes, he's on Zoloft for his anxiety, even though he still struggles with depression. No more threatening, and he IS FINALLY acting like a father to our daughter, and helping me with her.

On the other hand... I know this other guy, who has been a friend since I was like 13. Our families are friends, our lives are intertwined. We used to flirt around, but he got a girlfriend and I met my husband. This guy even sang at our wedding. When I left my husband, this guy was a great person to talk to, because he gave me unbiased advice. He would sit down with me and go over the pros and cons of staying, the what ifs, etc. I've always wondered what would've happened with this guy if things between us did work out but I'm married so I never thought hard on it. I've been having these romantic type feelings for him come up in the last couple weeks. And, it confuses me and makes me feel awful. Of course I haven't acted on it or anybody but it's eating me up inside. Like I'm married, I shouldn't feel this way!? I told my husband when I went back to him, that I felt like he waited too late but I want to try. And he has been trying, we both have, but now this comes up? I'm trying to keep my distance from this other guy, but he's a great friend and I see him all the time. Especially when I see how good he is to my daughter. He's so good to her, and the other day, I just the thought "he'd be such a good dad... even a good step dad" Like where did that come from???? Every single night this week, I have dreamed about him, and then I wake up next to my husband. I'm confused and I feel awful to even be in this situation. I guess I'm just asking for advice, personal stories, and prayers?