My husband and I have our up and downs. I was about to leave him and then we got pregnant.

Let me say this: my husband lies all the time. About money, about his ex wife and just about little things. He swept me off my feet and after we got engaged all the truth came out and he wasn't who I thought he was.

After our child was born; things were pretty ok with us. He loves his baby. But he is shitty to me and really became emotionally abusive with me around the time baby was 6 months.

I would divorce him. We have talked about it but he would fight me for custody and I could never leave the state. Which I would want to do. So I am stuck.

My confession is, I hate my husband. I talk occasionally to my ex. My ex got married about a 1.5 years after we did. My ex and his wife ( After 10 mos marriage) are miserable and are amicably living separate. This made me secretly happy. We confide to one another and realize our mistakes and know we never will ever be together but can't deny our unbreakable connection. So, we occasionally re visit memory lane and re live over the phone our incredible sex.

I pine for my old lover but I push it away for the sake of my daughter.

I will never cheat on my husband and I can't divorce him.

So, if my ex lover and I occasionally revisit memory lane I don't feel guilty about it at all.