if u don't believe in getting exes back, please don't share your opinion i desperately need some positive advice and guidance please

i messed up badly. he said we will take a break and we will go on a date.

the thing is he thought i played victim while we were dating and never owned up to anything, and that i made him miserable.

this date is the only opportunity i have to show him i've changed. if i bring up the past he will think i'm not over it and i'm the same person i was before. and he is tired of that. he wants to see me be fun.

however if i don't he will think i'm playing victim.

i'm also embarrassed of what i've done and he's going on this date with hesitation. what should i do? i feel awkward

positive advice is appreciated thank you :)