13 dpo and not even a faint line 😟

Well I guess it's not my month ..again. we've been TTC for 17 months. I'm losing hope guys.. BFN this afternoon, I see faint lines all the time and I hate myself for that. I tell myself to quit being so obsessed with it but I can't help but hoping for the best everytime I take a test.. even if the one before was clearly BFN.

I have cramps that let me think I'm gonna wake up in pain and blood in the middle of the night, just makes me wanna cry even more.

I've been so moody lately I can't stand myself.. I want to cry every time I baby and it seems like they are freaking everywhere now. I just want to stop thinking about it but I have this ticking clock in my head that won't leave me alone !!

I needed to vent a little, nobody around me really understand the struggle.