My husband and I have planned to have our planned one. we tried for three months and it never seemed to happen. the 4th month my 5 year old daughter said mommy you have a baby in your belly. so the next day I had tested. Note to say I had already given up. That day I test it came out positive. I was in tears. the thought of me having another was amazing. so we planned our first draft appointment. got our first sonogram. It was confirmed I was 6 weeks and 2 days along. Heared my baby's heart beat. Was very strong. Every morning I would talk to my baby. My children would say good night and good morning. They would kiss my belly. Every morning and every night I would feel my belly waiting for those first kicks. I had already hit the 19 weeks mark. I had no movements still. Was told that in a few more days you should start feeling them. March 30th I had my 19 week and 2 days sonogram level 2. I had seen my bundle of joy. As my husband and children are around me watching him/her move around. They were trying to get a good pic of so I could take home. So I was told that they couldn't finish the exam because the was the baby was it was very hard to see. I had marked that next appointment for April 20th. I had went to work the next week. At the end of the day I had felt sharp muscle pains in my lower belly. When I had gotten home I called my OB. Told him what was going on. Once I got off the phone the pain went away. So I had later down. the pain never was long. That next morning I had woke up and was talking to my baby. I just felt like something was right. I still haven't felt movements yet when I should have already. I had called the Dr. and went into his office so that he could make sure that everything is good. Everything so far was good until they went to hear my baby's heartbeat. As I was laying on the table waiting for a heart beat. The Dr right away did a sonogram so that he could check the heart beat. Was told that he wasn't able to find it. I was sent to ER just to make sure. That he will be up there to meet me. My thoughts was still strong thinking positive. Saying to myself I had just seen my baby he/she was good. Your okay praying and hoping that it wasn't anything wrong. trying not to hear. my husband and 5 year old daughter brought me to hospital where they nurses brought me right into a room. Asked me a million and one questions. The sonogram teach arrived and they was looking at the baby. Told me that they aren't able to see much. They had to have another teach with better computer to see baby. They arrive they see the baby was told that they wasn't a heart beat no blood flowing through his or her body. They had asked if I had wanted to see. I just couldn't believe. So I had to see for myself. So there was my angel in my belly I see the head and chest not anything light not a flicker. I had instead ly broke down into tears. All I could think of was how could this happen. Was it something that I had did. I was to protect my angel. I had to give birth to my sweet angel at 19weeks and a few days I was one day until the 20 week mark. Held my baby girl. Note to say we never knew what we was having. We named her Maliya Michelle Even though she passed away I know she is with me. I talk to her when I'm outside I look at the stars. What I hated the most was they don't know as to why this happened to her. I wanted an answer and still haven't gotten one. I've learned to leave it alone. had to accept that my babygirl had to leave us. I had to tell my other kids and just being around kids was harder for me. Even out doors seeing other people being pregnant. Or they newborn baby's in the stroller. I would just brake down and tear. My heart had shattered into a million pieces when my daughter passed away. I couldn't get past this. I went home and had to finish the blacker that I had started making her. It had to be done. As I planned to get things ready for our final goodbyes. May 6th she was late to rest. My kids my husband and my family all got to say goodbye until we see each other on the other side in heaven. 4 months ago this had happened. She is always here with us. never forgotten. Always missed. so if you ever been through this. Just remember be strong. we can get through this. I feel for those that lost there's. To my angel mommy loves you always and forever. we all miss you.