trans fiancé?

Question

A few months ago I made a post about my fiancé coming out as gender neutral. I am in complete support of him being who he is. I will always love him for who he is and will always support him. My problem however though is that when I first met him and up until now this hasn't really been a thing he's talked about. He never said anything about not liking to be referred to as he/him until recently. He has always been feminine but it was just that. His personality. Not his gender. Now he's saying he's not sure. He says he just doesn't feel like a boy. He's not sure though if he's a girl, but it seems like that's what he's leaning towards. He also said there's something serious he wants to talk about he's just not ready to talk just yet.

My problem is that I'm not sure what I would do if he came to the conclusion that he felt more female. I met a guy. I started dating a guy. I decided I wanted to marry a guy. Now that's all changing. I know that it's still him and that I still love him and that will never change, but it's still a lot. I'm not sure if I want to be married to him as a girl. I don't know what all these changes will bring in the future. It's not a matter of if I am supportive of the LGBTQ community or not because I could never not be, so please don't think I'm not. I'm just not sure if all these changes are the right life for me.

What do you think? Suggestions?

Answer

it's not wrong of you . you can still love your fiancé as a person but decide to end your romantic relationship with them . kris did when bruce came out as kaitlynn . and it's not because she's some horrible transphobe , but bc she's not gay and she married a man . so you can support your fiancé as they figure out their identity , but if they decide that they want to transition to a woman ... well you will just have to have a serious talk with them

Answer

I agree with you. I love my husband more than anything in the whole world but i couldn't stay with him if he decided to become a girl. You are already accepting of our husband so I'd say that he should be grateful for that, but also respect your needs and not become a woman.
Since he is so confused right now with not coming out 100%, I would question if he was even straight. He may have married you for other reasons. Always a possibility that he could be Gay if he feels this way.
In answer to your question, yes, you do have a right to feel this way. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer

I think it is best for you to realize this now. If you can't hang, you can't hang. It would be just as unfair for them to expect you to deal as it would be for you to expect them to not go through transition if they decide they are more femine and are female. 
I think the most important thing at this point is to not push them right now. They're trying to figure themselves out, and as stressful as that is for you, it's harder and more stressful for them. If they decide they are just gendernutral, great. But they may not. 
Just be as supportive as you can right now honey, but don't compromise on what is okay for you. Don't expect them to not transition in the hopes of staying together. That is awful for both of you. 
Good luck honey.

Answer

He needs to be ready to talk about it.. he knows you support him and you want to know what's going on & decide if this is what you want for yourself. It's not okay to be left to wonder about what's going on or going to happen. Sit down with him and tell him it's time you both talked about everything.

trans fiancé?

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