I am so blessed to be expecting our Rainbow on March 30 2018, but I'm on such a rollercoaster after having a miscarriage. What I want to be a joyous occasion has me in fear. Every time I go to bathroom I'm checking for blood. Every awkward feeling has me in a panic. I just want to hear my baby's heartbeat. I want to hold my precious baby and I am so afraid that it won't happen for me. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ and so I know that I am not to have a spirit of fear but my flesh is afraid.