Is there something wrong with me mentally?

For a very long time, u feel as though something has been wrong with me. A few years back, my cousin molested me in my hotel room when he thought I was asleep- with my grandparents sleeping in the other bed next to us. Before that, I was a flirt. I liked to tease my peers, make little jokes. I was a romantic. I still am- but it doesn't feel the same...

I don't feel comfortable around the members of the opposing sex- no matter who they are. I can't hug them, hold hands with them, it's even hard to have a normal conversation... it feels almost strained.

I am still a hopeless romantic though. All of my friends come to me for relationship advice. I want to be in a relationship and I want to feel loved, I'm still sexually active to a certain point. I mean, like most girls where I come from I Masturbate on rare occasions.

Anyways, in a short sense, it's almost like I'm physically and mentally unable to love and comprehend it.

Anytime a boy has a crush on me it's as though my mind goes blank and I loose control over my mind and body. I become a blank slate. Completely oblivious to all advancements.

It hurts to feel like I'll never be in love. I'll never find the strength to overcome the only thing I know- that I've experienced,(that men are always out to have sex and to abuse you) and that I will never learn how to love.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It's pushing me to the edge that I can't get over this! I hate it and it's making me hate myself!! Is this something I should be ashamed of? Should I be afraid? Is there something wrong with me? I don't understand! Please! Anyone reading, help me?!