I am so emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed with everything right now.

everything should be okay, everything is not okay and i don't understand why.

So I'm having a glass of alcohol even though i do not drink and hate alcohol

But I just want to be out of my mind for a moment. Does anyone understand that?

I just feel so lost right now. I think I am depressed and have been fighting it so long, I'm just tired.

Can anyone relate? I feel so stupid and worthless and alone and I don't understand why or what happened to make me feel this way. I feel like someone grabbed a knife and carved a hole into my soul-or whatever makes me who I am.