I don't know what to say today, I am at a loss for words. The only thing I know is that I feel like my body (and horrifyingly) my God have failed me. Our first pregnancy was accidental when we were in HS, and we miscarried early. We didn't fully feel that loss due to the fact that we were not really ready in the first place. Our second pregnancy gave us our beautiful son (now 3). The third ended in Jan - 10 weeks pregnant, and no heart beat on the second ultrasound. Our fourth ended today - 7 weeks pregnant. We got checked out a week ago and they found a heartbeat, and promised everything was good so far. But I was bleeding today and we rushed to the ER. Again, they found no heartbeat. Every nurse and Doctor asks "how many pregnancies have you had", and I say 4. They then ask, "any complications in the past?". I say, I have only one child. 1/4 just seems so wrong... I am devastated and venting now... but I can't imagine how scared I will be if I ever get to answer that question with "this is pregnancy #5".