I had surgery a year ago and it has left me with chronic pain for no known reason. (The surgery was a pilonidal cystectomy) I had it operated on 3 times before and now I'm stuck. It's caused the onset of depression and worsened my generalized anxiety disorder. I've been on so many damn medications I hardly care to count. Some are anti depressants, pain meds, and anxiety meds. So, my dr referred me to a pain clinic because I had a drug test come back negative for my meds (for reason I don't know) and the pain clinic told me I had to discontinue use of my benzodiazepines because they're the "number 1 selling street drug" and I'm having panic attacks left and right worrying about this pain clinic. I honestly think I failed my drug test because I had been cutting back on my dosing because my body can't tolerate the Tylenol anymore but anyway, I'm so scared they're going to put me on something crazy instead of getting to the root of the problem. I've seen a spine specialist, physical therapist, 2 colorectal surgeons, plastic surgeon, and a couple of others to get to the bottom of it. I feel like I'm trapped because I let my family and friends talk me into this "cure all" surgery. FML.

Current mood.