Do you believe that having strict parents can lead to dishonesty in a child?

Question

I personally had very strict parents growing up, but it never gave me an opportunity to be dishonest-- because, well, they were strict. 😂 The house was rigged with alarms  that I didn't know the code to so I never had a chance to sneak out. Also had a GPS tracker on my car. It was literally impossible for me to sneak out in order to do anything untrustworthy. 
But I know many kids who have become dishonest from having strict parents who weren't as strict as mine so my final answer would be that it sometimes causes dishonesty. 
What do you all think? Have any experiences with strict parents?

Answer

I think if I lived in a house like that I would do anything in my power to get out. I'd be gone at 18. Not sure if it makes a child more dishonest, but I don't think smothering children and tracking their every move are healthy and may create resentment. I guess it might make someone dishonest if they're desperate enough to get away and live their life.

Answer

According to research by Victoria Talwar, a renowned expert on children’s social-cognitive development at McGill University, strict parenting tends to result in offspring that really know how to deceive. By producing an atmosphere of inevitable punishment for any wrongdoing, the children of these parents learn how to lie in order to escape any punitive measures for their nefariousness.

Answer

I couldn't imagine growing up like that. I'd feel like a prisoner in my own home. That much authoritarian control seems like it would lead to all sorts of negative coping behaviors including dishonesty.

Answer

It's on a kid by kid basis. I have strict parents, and I've done some sneaky things. But I don't think I'd be labeled as a sneaky kid.. I made a couple mistakes but overall overcame them.
Although I do think the more strict you are he more likely you're going to let your kid fail in life. They won't learn the lessons as a kid, and the consequences get MUCH bigger as you get older. I think allowing kids to make their mistakes is a good thing. Maybe not all mistakes (boundaries are good) but not letting them make even the smallest mistakes will often just set them up for failure 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Okay, so I'm 22 and still live with mine while I'm finishing school. Because I wasn't allowed to date, didn't spend the night with anyone outside of family until this one time when I was 16, and still was told I couldn't go on group outings with guys and girls when I was 18: when I first moved away to college it was a new world and I had to get out there and learn a lot for myself. Had to bump my head and learn about who I am and what I believe the hard way. I didn't drink until I was 18, I didn't have sex until I was 19 and I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20. Lol I didn't sneak and do anything until college when i was away 😂my parents still are fairly strict. Reasons why I'm about to bust my ass to move out.

Answer

Just speaking as someone raised in an ULTRA STRICT household, there's one truth I know to be real:
Strict parents raise the s n e a k i e s t  kids.
People can disagree all they want & think going far in instilling punishments and rules and ultra high expectations does the opposite. I personally know to be less open with my parents even at a grown age, still lying about things I don't really have to anymore simply because of that lack of trust and empathy I was raised in. The worst part is being thought of as a liar by your parents yet having them fail to realize how much their style of upbringing shapes your personality, relationships, and approach with them.

Answer

I have two nieces, who are sisters. I believe they are about 2 years age difference. They have been raised the same by, what I consider, a fairly strict mother. They are polar opposites. The oldest recently turned 18 and graduated high school. She is a massive bookworm, does well in school, has almost no interest in dating, is planning on going on an LDS mission, then college, she is hardly dishonest and open with her parents, and is an all around good, rule following kid. Of course she has her typical teenage moments, but that's too be expected. The younger one, age 16, is a troublemaker. Has been since she was super young too, like 10. She's really not a bad kid in my eyes, other than general rule breaking and sneaking out. I believe she has premarital sex (very frowned upon in their religion, props to her mom who put her on bc though), doesn't always do school work or housework, has failed a few classes, had little ambition, she lies and doesn't really care when she's caught, independent, rebellious and just doesn't want to do what her parents say. They were raised overall the same up to a point. Then made slight changes based on personalities and what worked for each individual kid. In fact, the parents have become less stepchild for the troublemaker, since being more strict did make her rebel even more. I think a lot more plays into a kids personalities and behaviours than just how strict or laid back their parents are.

Answer

I had "helicopter parents" who were overbearing and very, very strict. 
Honestly it made me more likely to sneak around because I couldn't turn to them for any advice. I always had to lie about where I was going. It's not like I was dating a bad guy or with a bad crowd, I was super unpopular (and ugly lol) and just wanted to get ice cream with my best girl friend. 
And in situations where I WAS in trouble (one night my car got broken into at 3am), I couldn't call them for help, fearing what they would do to me. 
I don't think being your child's "friend" is the way to go either. It's just that either end of the extreme can produce unstable children in my opinion.

Answer

I think as a parent you have to have a balance. Too strict, and then naturally your child will rebel to some point (some kids at more extremes than others, it depends on the kid). But too laid back, the kid will walk all over you.
My parents were very strict, helicopter parents.  I don't agree entirely with that parenting style.  However, my husbands parents were really laid back.  They didn't really help him learn some basic things like financial - balancing a checkbook, savings, etc. or warn him much when he wasn't doing well in school.  I guess they figured he would learn through consequences.  Which isn't bad, but it sucks when as an immature kid without any prior knowledge, you make a pretty big mistake that is hard to rebound from.
So we are deciding to try to raise our kid sort of in the middle.  Some parents might think we are too strict, others might think we are too laid back.  It's a balancing act.

Answer

My parents didn't know I lost my virginity at 13 drank and smoked weed almost every weekend or that we every so much as touched a boy until my sister got pregnant at 15 but it was ok cause they THOUGHT we where perfect.

Do you believe that having strict parents can lead to dishonesty in a child?

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