Just can't take anymore 😭

So my husband and I tried for baby #2 for 9 months... I had a full work up and hsg bc I thought something was wrong, but boom cycle 9 we did it. I lost it 12 days after finding out and I'm so f*%#*£# angry and sad. So to make it worse, I ovulated 12-14 days after the start of the bleeding so I was super excited to try again and get back to working on baby #2 and I'm spotting today😭 it's on 8 days past ovulation and I'm so angry about it!! I couldn't be the girl that falls pregnant easily, I couldn't be the girl that tried for almost a year and finally gets pregnant and has a healthy baby, so why would I think I'd be the girl that loses a baby and gets her rainbow straight away!!! I can't take the grief anymore 😭