So me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 4 years now. I fell pregnant straight away with my first and figured it would be the same with the second. Turns out it doesn't work like that. We have had ups and downs, they don't tell you what an emotional rollercoaster TTC can be. During these 4 years we have had countless doctors appointments, tests, many family and friends pregnancys, we got married, got a cat, our son turned 7yrs old, 2 of our friends got married and my sister got married and we moved. it has been so draining every month to find that it hasn't happened . We have gone through blaming ourselves and the what if's, the tears, the silence, questions if we want more children and why not yet. I'm so fed up with people asking why haven't we got any more yet, like we can click our fingers and fall pregnant or they say just stop trying or it will happen just don't think about it. I don't know when this will happen for us but I'm at the point where I just don't see it happening, I hate the feeling because I really wish it would and I'm almost scared to feel like this because I don't want to jinx things. Typing that sounds really stupid but I can't describe it any other way. I feel like I've been a horrible person over the years because I hate hearing about people's baby news, I find it hard to deal with. I wasn't like this before. I think this has really changed me. Does anyone else feel like this?