So I'm 15 years old and this past year I've been in my first ever serious relationship with my first ever serious boyfriend. It took us a year and a half of being on and off to finally get there in early October of 2016. We were going out for almost 7 months in total (which is a rather long time in my view not necessarily yours) This boy is extremely special to me; the history and the way we understand each other makes it a whole lot harder to let go. So as you can imagine I was completely heartbroken when he made the decision to end it in early may. For two months he didn't want anything to do with me; he was happy with a new girl who he seemed to move onto very quickly and he refused to acknowledge my name in a conversation at all. I understand fully why he ended it but that's not to say it didn't hurt a lot.

The first time we saw each other since the break up was early July and at first it was awkward but after it was just normal; we didn't really talk but it didn't bother me. Then my friend said to me we need to talk and a very long story cut short he said to her he kinda wanted to "rekindle" and then he said he didn't and then he fucked that and ended it with this girl and popped up to me. at first it was just a conversation and then two and then three and then I ended up going round and he told me he missed me and he was gonna get me back. So then I felt myself falling again and we messaged and I saw him more and more and more. I got his old jumpers out and the pandora charm and the jewellery box and he got out my frame and hes told his parents things are back on track and I'm going round for meals again and it's like how it used to be.

However there is just one thing playing on my mind. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING! Am I wrong am I right? I love this boy! I would do anything for him. We were each other's first time and there's just so many feelings that I doubt will go away for a long time. I want to trust him and we're working towards rebuilding it. It's just hard and I'm probably over reacting I just needed to say it so thanks aha.