I love you. More than anything in the world and you know this. What you don't know is all that I've been through. Mainly bc I won't tell you 🤦🏾‍♀️. And bc I haven't told you, you wouldn't understand why I said the wrong name that night. Last time I "woke up" with a man on top of me I was 9 years old and he was my brother's 17 yo best friend. As much as I trust and know you I know you had no way of knowing I was blackout drunk so I don't blame you but I feel so guilty bc I broke your heart on accident and I can't even tell you why. The real reason I said your best friend's name while we were in bed is bc I thought he was taking advantage of drunk me...Idk if you remember me pushing you off when I said it but I do. That's literally the only thing I remember from that night up to our argument. No, I don't want him. fuck no, we haven't done anything! And I know me and you "aren't together" but I'm unbelievably, unequivocally, hopelessly in love with YOU... It's been a few days since and you've told me you love me and we've gone back to being in the very loving "open long distance relationship" (🙄🙄) that we were in but I can't help feeling so terrible bc you had to come up with your own explanation as to why it happened bc I'm such a coward and can't tell you 🤦🏾‍♀️😔😢. I'm scared now that the longer I wait to say something the less you'll believe me and it'll be like I'm just bringing it up to hurt you all over again. So I'm here. Hopefully you know how much I love and would do for you.... It's just a few things about me you still don't know 🤦🏾‍♀️😔