I hate that because my husband was unfaithful for so long, I still don't trust him. He has been almost completely faithful for about a year. He's about to deploy again so I worry he's going to mess up again and I hate that. He wanted to go have a beer with his uncle and it really took a lot out of me to be ok with it, and I hate that. I freaking hate not trusting him. We used to people watch together, we can't even do that anymore. I've been asking for nearly 2 years for a vow renewal, I don't want to keep building our life on broken vows. grrr.