First post ever so first of all: Hello Ladies!!

So, I got married in November, and now we are separated. We were the stupid couple that got married before knowing each other that well (we had only been together for six months). Also military so there was that "encouragement" aspect for him. I have never (and still to this day don't) want anything from him that I didn't come in with.

I am the one who left. I left because I had been trying to work through our issues the whole time. He would just ignore me, and never even acknowledge that anything was wrong. The last straw was when I told him that I was thinking about taking some space, he told me he would kill himself if I left. I made sure to report it because he also cut himself and it scared me, as I have lost friends to suicide because no one took action. I stayed until he got out of the hospital.

We argued (big time!) from the time I left until a few weeks ago. He still isn't completely understanding about why I left, but I kind of don't expect him to be.

My issue now is that I really miss him, but I feel like our issues are too big, and I have dug myself into too big of a hole to go back now. I am finally enrolled in school and I have a job... across the country. Plus I hated our life there. Suburbia is NOT for me. I don't fit in with the perfect army wives.

I want children one day, but I can't see myself having them with him because he is a big child himself. He keeps insisting that he has changed in the past two months, and sometimes I see it, but in a lot of subtle ways, I just don't.

We come from completely different worlds, and don't see eye to eye about many things... But he also gives me a different perspective on the world. However, I am also not really sexually compatible with him... He kind of sucks at sex 😒

I am confused and this is starting to make me depressed, so I guess I just wanted to share it with someone because I feel so alone. I don't know what to do or how to stop feeling this way.