Am I A Bad Person?

Question

I'm going to try keep it short and sweet.
Basically my husband and family don't get along,he believes they are manipulative.
6 months ago thinks went sour and my father confronted him and ended up hitting him(according to him my husband was giving him cheek)
Fast forward to today,my mother sent a message basically saying sorry,trying to make peace,but my husband won't accept it unless its on paper.
I'd love to make amends,at the end of the day,they are family and without them I wouldn't be alive.
I'm not sure what to do because if I so much as mention it to DH he will get upset and tell me it's basically him or them(I know this because I've tried before)...
also,I just found out I'm going to be an aunt...My brother and his gf are expecting their first child(I've always been close with my brother so obviously I want to be able to share this with them... I don't want to be the absent aunt,especially since I am his only sibling)...
What do you ladies think?

Answer

I dont think you are a bad person I just dont think it would be a good idea to put your man ahead of family,  especially if they been there with you longer than him. I would talk to him and tell him how you feel about your family and move on. it sounds like hes holding onto a grudge and its honestly childish and ignorant as fuck ESPECIALLY if hes trying to be serious with you. Wouldn't you wanna be on good terms with both sides?

Answer

Does this fight with your parents include your brother and SIL? If not, make time with them when your parents aren't around until things blow over.

Answer

I'm sorry you're in this situation hun. I've been there but the opposite, my family didn't like my boyfriend (ex boyfriend) now, and It's so mentally draining trying to mend everyone and keep the peace, so I get what you're going through. But ultimately you have to do what you feel is right, they are your family and were there before he was and will be there once he's gone. He's sounds very controlling and immature. No-one can stop you for seeing your family, he needs to be able to accept you and the people you love for this to truly work. I'm not saying break up but maybe you need to have a serious think about the future here? Is it really going to work long term with his immaturity and unwillingness to put his problems aside for you? You need to put your foot down and tell him how important they are and that if he wants to be in your life he needs to be able to accept them and try to get along for your sake. It sounds like your parents are trying but he isn't. I know it's hard but I think you have to put your foot down here, if you haven't  already? Goodluck! x

Answer

Just to update everyone, OP also posted this thread under "adult relationships." She has given extra information under Rulynn's comment thread, for anyone who wants to see it. 
Also know that he's confessed to doing drugs, that he is "resisting" urges to hit her, that he has isolated her from any friends (she only leaves the house to buy groceries) and that he keeps pressuring her to let him sell her things (and pocket the money). 
I cannot imagine how one person on this planet could not see this as a classic case of an addict/abuser and know that it will only get worse and she should leave him forever. 
She says she has left before and gone back, and then feels like it's her fault. So he's obviously he's very manipulative. 
For her own safety she needs to leave this man. If it takes a police escort to do it! (At least in the US you can get that).

Answer

I don't know any of you, but based on your story he could be totally on the right. 
I don't see why you having a relationship with your family has to include him. I wouldn't. It sounds like he isn't keeping you from seeing them. He just chooses not to be around them. It's really his right not to be in their life if he doesn't want to. 
If you don't want to pick sides then don't even discuss one side with the other. Go on about your business.

Answer

Seems to me that your family includes your husband FIRST. Your father doesn't understand that. And, why would your father hit your husband ?

Answer

I'm sorry your going through this.. but if anyone in my family ever physically hit my husband I would side with him. Sorry but that behavior is unacceptable and I can see why your husband doesn't want to be around them.

Am I A Bad Person?

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