I just need to vent a little and have no one to talk to so decided to do it here...I guess im feeling a bit stressed out lately..and by lately i mean the last 6 months since my baby girl was born. I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety and always question if im doing things right and fixate on everything trying to be perfect and get even more anxious and stressed if for some reason it is not. Im also always scared of doing things wrong or going out and something happening like baby starts screaming at the store and i cant calm her down and things like that. Im a stay at home mom and i live in another country far away from family and friends and the only person i have to talk to is my husband, but he is always really busy and work crazy hours so i feel kind of stupid talking to him, i feel like my "problems" are so small compared to his and that i shoudnt stress him with things about the baby and that i should be able to take care of everything on my own like everybody else, (afterall that is my job im the stay at home mom right?) but i am so tired and stressed ALL THE TIME and i feel like such a failure sometimes for the stupidest things!

Baby fails to nap = im the worst mom ever i couldn't help baby nap. Im even scared of being outside the house during nap time. Baby cries in carseat = why is she crying what im i doing wrong i am the worst mom ever.

Failed at sleep training for the 27293729 time = im the worst mom ever.

Consider stopping to EBF and give her a bottle at night because i feel like i need a glass of wine at night = im the worst mom ever.

On really hard night i have had thoughts of just standing up and leaving. Far a away and never coming back. Then i feel awful and cry all night long.

I know that what im thinking is not true but I still feel this way ALL. DAY. LONG every single day. And scared and anxious and sad and tired and all the other emotions. On top of everything i have started to eat like crazy! Every time they baby cries or i feel super anxious y find myself eating whatever sugary thing i could find and its taking a toll on my health. I dont know if its normal I dont see any other moms go through this around me i feel so alone... i guess my question is.. did this happen to you? Does it go away? Is this undiagnosed postpartum depression or anxiety?