So I have had 2 miscarriages and every time the doctor tells me what we are going to take a pregnancy test to see it scares the crap out of me.. I just sit there and over think it all.. when I get pregnant I have a higher chance of it being an ectopic pregnancy and failing anyways or I'm not pregnant and I sit there and question why and beat myself up about it. I hate myself for these miscarriages even though there was no way to prevent them.. I want to just give up on trying but that hurts me even more.. please help me on ways to cope or deal with this..