about done with it all..

my mom passed away in july on the 15.. now when someone dies theres a baby thats conceived or so ive been told. well my brothers 17 year old lady friend ia pregnant and im 24 years old goin on 4 years ive been trying to get pregnant and just get let down everytime. im almost ashamed of myself to say im finsing myself to be jealous or mad that she is but every baby is a blessing just wondering if there are any other girls out there thinkin the same thing when they hear someone is pregnant. .