last september i met this boy, we were both rly shy and had no expereince with the opposite sex😂 it was cute that we were shy but nothing rly happened until february, when he found out a guy was gonna ask me out so he got over his shyness and asked me out. but we were both still too shy to talk to each other lol. we were in ninth grade lmao😂 he went to his friends for advice abt me and it was rly sweet and he said the nicest things abt me

however since we couldnt talk to one another we decided to do it thru text. (its stupid, ik it was my idea and he did it to make me comfortable) i had anxiety depression and trust issues and once we texted more and more we got to know each other more we decided we wanted to keep getting to know each other until we dated so we decided to commit to each other without the title bc i wasnt ready yet with all my issues

there was this female friend of his who is rly flirty, now rhat he broke it off (ill explain later) i see that they never liked each other. but they had a rly couple like relationship despite the fact that they didnt like wacj other and he called her wifey and bae and beautiful and he told her he loves her (they do that as friends shes always like ily and hes like ilyt) we werent dating, but it still made me feel bad. i asked him about it but not specifically, i felt awkward asking abt that, i didnt want to come off as jealous and he said that it was my place and he wanted to help me and if anythingn made me uncomfortable to tell him bc it was my place. i dodnt bc i was a coward. he actually went to advice to her abt me and talked in the sweetest way abt me

i had trust issues. he knew this and he tried his best to help me. he was the most patient guy and helped me thru my panic attacks and when i told him abt my body image issues he stopped looking at other girls bc i would be all that he needs. my phone broke and he gave me an old ipod of his to use and he downloaded all my fav games and apps on there which was rly thoughtful. he forgot to log out of his social media and i snooped, ik it was wrong.

he found out a month later from someone else. he knew i had trust issues so he decided to ask me if i did it and if i owned up to it we would be good, and he would keep helping me. he asked me a couple times and i chockened out and didnt own up to it, idk why. i was scared. we then got into a HUGEEEEEEE FIGHT where i acted like an absolute bitch and psycho and everything and thsi lasted for a long time. he broke it off, bc there wasnt any trust and i always tried to start drama w him and its true i acted like a brat and i made him miserable. he then doubted that i was a good person. i asked him if we could try again in a couple months if we were still single. he said yes, but for now we are done. he needs a break and so do i to get over these issues. i ended up seeing a therapist and what can i say i mever expected to ever be this happy again 🙂

the problem is a couple days after we broke it off (it lasted ten momths btw) i went crazy and i texted and called and he said he didnt know if he wanted to try again and i accused him of a bunch of things. i then begged and he said "okay we will go out and see if it was a good decision or not" which surprised me bc yall dont even know how spycho i acted and how much i regret it

well now its time to ask him out, what should i say to him? how should i ask him iut? ty for reading this if u read it all and please leave ur opinion😂

also im really ashamed of the way i acted i dont even recognize myself