the pressure won't go away

I feel like I can't escape the hate that's going on around me. everyone has defiled me and it's left a hard jagged edge on me , alongside that my family won't understand what's going on with me . I always thought that if I committed suicide no one would care and I truly believe that nowadays people will assist you in dying and laugh at your grave . I don't want to commit to another life someone please help I'm searching for help passionately