C-Section Guilt: Why do I feel like a failure?

Question

Ever since I can remember I've wanted a natural delivery. No epidural, vaginal, with skin to skin. When I had my son last week I went natural until my water broke at 9cm. I literally couldn't take the pain anymore and asked for the epidural. My sons heart rate dropped to 50, and after an episiotomy and an unsuccessful vacuum I had to have an emergency c-section. I know everything that happened was out of my control but why am I feeling like such a failure? Is this part of "baby blues"??? I have 2 friends who had successful vaginal deliveries in the past 2 weeks and I'm over here feeling like I didn't do enough... is it normal to feel this way?

Answer

I feel you. I wanted that experience as well. I was induced at 41 weeks with my first and ended up with a cord prolapse and emergency csection under general anesthesia. I woke up in recovery 4 hours later and finally got to meet her. 
My second, I wanted a Vbac. I labored naturally for 18 hours, my water broke with meconium in it. My son's heart rate dropped and stayed down with every contraction. So I finally opted for another csection. 
I felt like a "failure" both times. Like I didn't "earn" my babies the way others had. For me, those feelings greatly lessened after the first couple of weeks. I definitely think those post birth "baby blues" played a big part in my case. 
Now, 21 months after my second birth, I think back on how my kids entered this world and I'm proud. I, like all those other moms i envied, was willing to do anything and everything to get my babies here safely. For me, that included being cut open on a table and stitched and stapled back together. 
Every story is different and beautiful in its own way. Try not to be hard on yourself. You did enough. You ARE enough!

Answer

My first baby broke my water early so my OB sent me to be induced. Over 24hrs of hard contractions, no pain meds, and not dilating past 1cm they did a c-section. Trouble was that half way through the waiting to see if anything changes phase I just knew that I was going to need a c-section. I told the nurse to tell the doctor what I said but she just laughed at me and walked away. When I told my OB that I already knew hours prior and told the nurse and what she did he was pissed at her for not listening to me. He said she could've put me and the baby in greater harm by nnot listening to me. By the time he had finally come iknto the room to talk to me I was on oxygen and being rolled around since her heart rate kept dropping and my oxygen levels were in the low 80s. That nurse said she honestly thought we would be ok with how strong my contractions were but I still wasn't past 1cm. After she was born (they had given my oxycotin about a half hour before the c-section) I was so out of it that I didn't understand why my mother was mad at me. She made me feel like I was worthless for not being able to give birth naturally. Mind you, she had me via c-section so I've no idea why she wanted toi make me feel bad. Don't worry. The feeling will pass in time. Congrats to you 😊

Answer

I work labor and delivery and mommas beat themselves up all the time over these things. The best this is you're healthy and baby is ok. Regardless, it doesn't make you any less of a woman sweet girl ❤️.

Answer

I had to have a c-section due to fetal intolerance to labor. I was and still am sl sad I didnt get to be the first one to hold my son, to have him placed on my chest, to have that hour of skin to skin. As Im writing this my eyes are watering, I still feel this way everyday but if it wasn't for that c-section my baby may no be here today💙

Answer

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! No birth is better than another. I can understand how you feel but please don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes things just don't go as planned and that's okay! You brought a healthy baby into the world in the safest way you could, that is all that matters! 💕

Answer

It is ok to be disappointed when you want something so bad you can taste it and then things go drastically off plan.  Just know, you are not a failure.  
Being able to have a successful vaginal delivery isn't just about being strong or powerful, it sometimes requires a healthy dose of luck.
Your baby is here and healthy - you definitely did a great job.

C-Section Guilt: Why do I feel like a failure?

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