So.... long story.... a few weeks ago at 9 weeks pregnant of our planned pregnancy. I catch Husband snapchating other females and then sending pics. At first he apologizes then he says he been unhappy for years and he doesn't think this is what he wants. I was shocked. My husband has daemons, he was diagnosed with depression as a child but never really got help. We've been together for over 10yrs, I've know him since childhood. I've never seen him like this. I think depression and trauma from his childhood explains a lot of erratic behavior (does not excuse it of course). He moved himself into his man cave down stairs. We started going to marriage counseling and me going to individual counseling. He moved himself back upstairs. He kept saying he would do individual counseling. There have been ups and downs through this process. All weekend we were on an up. Monday he came home in the middle of the day incredibly upset from work, I was able to calm him down. I reached out to his LPO(military, immediate supervisor) because I was genuinely concerned about his behavior. Tuesday night kinda we got into over an instagram post. On Wednesday his LPO had to have conversation about his behavior at work and she brought up my concerns. Wednesday night we were supposed to meet our friends to announce our pregnancy. He texted me and told me He wasn't coming because I talked to his LPO. He went home and put a lock on his man cave. I tried talking to him when I got home. He said I made him look like a piece of shit to his boss and now his LPO thinks he's worthless. I told him I know that's not what his LPO said and if that is all he heard he wasn't listening. The next day I let him know I was leaving for work. He knows there is a lock on the upstairs bedroom door. He had 30 min to get anything he needed. He waited until after a left he went upstairs and tried to break the door down, I know because I have it on camera. We have two web cams to watch the dog during the day. When he couldn't kick it or break it down with his body he went down stairs and got a hammer. He punched a huge through the door. All to get his hair brush and iron. This is not rational behavior. The aggression I saw on camera scared me. I reached out to my counselor. My counselor was concerned and wanted me to talk to a family advocate, report his behavior to the command because they would order him to get counseling and maybe get an military protection order (MPO). I called his LPO again instead, I explained what the counselor wanted me to do. I knew if I started the Family advocate program (FAP) process there is no going back... His LPO had to get their Chief involved. He has now been ordered to take individual counseling. But there is no FAP case. I think he's blaming me for "being in trouble" but he can't see that he's not in trouble everybody is just worried about him. If I wanted to get him in trouble I could have called his Commanding Officer or the Cops. He won't take any ownership of his own behavior. I'm giving him all kinds of space right now. I just want him to be ok.

I don't want to get divorced, I really do love him. But I can't continue to go through this... not with a baby.

Last night I asked if he could take our dog down (he LOVES our dog and our dog is OBSESSED with him) he told me "no... and you should considered him your dog now." For him to reject a creature that has done him no wrong and loves him unconditionally tells me he is in such a dark place.

I'm just keeping my distance and waiting for counseling next week to talk...

We're supposed to be so happy right now.

I'm so heartbroken. I want my family to be whole.

I know it's not me. He has to fix himself.

If you asked me about our relationship back in June I would have told you that we were solid. He tells everyone I am his best friend. We've been together for almost 11 years married for 8. We've had issues in the past but....

I don't even recognize him right now