I don't know if this is the right place to type this so sorry if you click on this thinking it would be something else. I'm depressed as hell and I'm suicidal. Those two I know for sure but I haven't been eating for the past month and I wouldn't say I'm anorexic because I don't eat just to lose weight, I don't eat because in my head, I'll die faster.

This was all brought along when my ex came into my life. I don't want to go on about him because this is about me but basically, he was negative and horrible and depressed and people rub off on each other. He mentally abused me so now my confidence is 100% gone. He basically physically abused me, pressuring me to have sex with him even if I didn't want to taking my virginity and everything from me.

Then I told my mom and she flipped. Now I'm grounded for a year and I feel like she hates me. And you know what he's doing? He got off Scott free. Probably fucking someone else now. Idk.

I feel like I'm stuck. Like I can't go back to the person I was before no matter how freaking hard I try and I'm gonna be stuck like this. He also goes to the same school as me now because I transferred before I even knew he was going there so yeah. I have no friends because people don't want to hang out with depressed people. I just can't shake this off. Apparently, according to my mom, I don't act like a 16 year old, I act like an adult and that's another reason why people my age don't want to hang out with me, I just don't know anymore.

I have never wanted to die more than I do now. Idk, I guess I had to get this out. Sorry if you read all of it and wasted your time :)